Thursday 14 February 2013

290: Big

There once was a man with big hands.  They weren’t ordinary big, like he might make a great pianist or an excellent goalie.  They were freakishly large hands.

When he was a little boy his hands had been normal size.  As he grew older, all of his body got bigger, like normal peoples’ do.  But when he was a full sized man and most of him stopped growing, his hands carried on.

At first they grew into goalie’s hands but they didn’t stop growing.  Then they grew to the size of dinner plates but they didn’t stop growing.  Then they grew to the size of a pair of Pugs but they didn’t stop growing.  When they grew to the size of elephants ears they did stop growing, which was just as well because the man was almost starting to trip over his fingers when he walked down the street.

You might expect this to be a tale of heroism with the man using his big hands to rescue children from burning buildings, but it’s not.  You might expect this to be a tale of adventure with the man travelling the world and using his big hands to discover new lands, but it’s not.  You might expect this to be a tale of intrigue with the man using his big hands to rescue foil international terror plots, but it’s not.  

The man didn’t do anything special with his big hands at all.  However he could swat away flies from ten feet, shelter himself in the rain so his clothes didn’t get wet and boy could he wave.

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